On Things Above

Vendor Fair!

2011-04-30T13:09:00.000-07:00

I'm so thankful to announce I'm selling my crafts at the upcoming Patchwork craft shows in Orange County!

The first is Sunday, May 15 in Long Beach!

The second is Sunday, May 29 in Santa Ana!

Here is a bit more information about each show:

http://www.patchworkshow.com/

This world is temporary.

2011-04-07T12:30:00.000-07:00

This past week was a bit of a solemn one internally. I was just thinking a lot about death and eternity, and it overwhelmed the rest of my thoughts and actions. Not at all in a bad way, just in a really awakening way. There are just times when the fragility of life seems so much more real, and it puts everything in perspective. It makes me feel so weak, to think that everything and everyone I have in my life could be taken away in a moment. And yet, that is exactly where I want to be. When I feel that weakness, when nothing in my life seems stable except for God, I have to turn to Him for all my comfort. (Which is the only place real comfort can be found!) This kind of perspective encourages me to live in such a way where everything I do is done for God, and everything I hold is held with open hands. I am asking God to make that lifestyle a reality. I praise Him for the ways He's already done that, but I long to live it out even more. I know that when I empty myself of the things of this world, I can be filled with Him!

Do not be Anxious!

2011-01-17T23:21:00.000-08:00

When I go the Barnes and Noble, (a favorite past-time of me and my fiance) I always head toward the Do-It-Yourself Craft book section. There are thousands upon thousands of pages covering every inch of the crafting world from paper flowers to screen prints, from recreation to business. I am certainly inspired by the projects and success tips provided by these books, but I have found that another emotion surfaces when faced with all these stories: I'm overwhelmed! I realize all the styles and projects I have yet to explore, and all the ways I could improve what I've already done! I look at the success of others and think "I'm not there yet!" Thankfully, I immediately call on the Lord to correct my perspective and pray for his vision. I don't need to be overwhelmed by what other people have accomplished! As as I'm praying for the Lord to guide me and give me the progress He wants, He will have me right where He wants me! I don't need to have a fancy website, published book, huge business, until the Lord takes me there. He knows exactly what's best, and He has the power to bring the success that He desires. Until he takes me there, He will teach me great things. He might have other plans, or He might have a different path for me to take. I don't need to be anxious! When I am anxious because other people are successful, that shows the deep rooted pride in me. "If someone else is having success, I want to have more!" I'll foolishly desire that deep inside! The Lord is teaching me to enjoy the great work of others, and trust the Lord's timing and great plans!

Thinking, thinking, thinking.

2010-10-05T15:59:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking. About many, many things. I bet you have been too. It has the potential to become overwhelming, doesn't it? But then, wait! Our Lord has overcome the world, and He can overcome anything we've got on our minds.

Some topics I've been pondering: My selfishness, poverty, forced labor and slavery, sweatshops, civil wars, my abundance of material possessions, clothing, decorations, how I spend my time, and what God would have be do about all this.

There are some serious issues in this world, and I want to please the Lord with my response. But for any of our responses to please the Lord, we MUST start with the heart. Is my heart's desire to please our awesome God, or is it to look incredibly generous as an attempt to please men? Will I sacrifice whatever the Lord asks of me because I treasure Him most, or will I give the minimum amount to look like a good person, and to have people applaud me? Do I think I can solve the world's problems with a hearty dose of good deeds, or do I confess that the Lord alone has the true power to save people?

When we start valuing the wrong things, it becomes about US instead of HIM, it becomes about helping people temporarily instead of saving people from hell eternally! What must we do to prevent this form happening? Because, it really can happen all too easily.

I recently listened to a fantastic and convicting sermon by pastor Mark Driscoll (of Mars Hill Church in Seattle). He passionately argued that life's problems and man's sins are really a result of one thing: idolatry.

Idolatry is the worship of anything beside the one true God. Driscoll explained (by quoting another pastor whose name I forget!) that humans are CONSTANTLY outpouring worship to someone or something. Whether you are Christian or not, we are always worshiping. It takes many forms: we can worship with our time, our money, our thoughts, our excitement. We can worship many things: our reputation (that one hit home for me), our comfort, our favorite sports team, our job, our education, our money, our humor, our image, celebrities, anything! So when we hear that God wants us to worship Him, it really is a gracious invitation to stop wasting our time with flawed idols, and to be fully satisfied by enjoying Him!

When we really do worship Him by enjoying Him, obeying Him, and being satisfied by Him, we will be increasingly willing to give up other less awesome things! Like the parable in Matthew 13:44. "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

All of our sins stem from our worship of things other than the Lord. (Again, this is borrowed from Driscoll's sermon.) If we didn't worship materials, we wouldn't steal. If we didn't worship our reputation, we wouldn't lie. If we didn't worship comfort, we wouldn't remain idle. The list goes on.

And so this applies to every aspect of our life, including how to serve the Lord and serve the poor and the afflicted. When we worship the Lord, and don't worship other things, we will desire to go where God tells us, sacrifice what He asks of us, and do it all for His glory! It's the best of both worlds: those who are hurting receive help, and the Lord receives the worship that He really deserves.

These issues of oppression and pain exist, and God calls believers to respond in tremendous generosity. But He wants it to happen as an act of worship and confession that God is the greatest treasure of all. He cares about His own worship more than He cares that someone is fed, because He knows that no one will truly be fed unless they worship Him! (Woah, did we just go in a circle there? Yes, we did! An awesome circle where God's wisdom is displayed!) John Piper says "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." He is the source of all satisfaction and joy. As much as we can try to solve the world's problems, the only solution comes in knowing God! Every problem is solved when we find ourself satisfied in Him, giving Him all our worship!

So if we are overwhelmed with the problems in this world, with the pain, the poverty, the disease, the lies, the abuse, the insecurities, the confusion, the adultery, the murder, the only real solution is to draw closer to God! Then He will use His willing servant for His perfect and gracious plan!

Why Not Advertise?

2010-09-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

Hello all! If you didn't know, I have a small crafting business called Emkats where I sell journals, bookmarks, and other paper crafts. To promote the business, I have a Facebook fan page, Twitter account, and most recently, a Tumblr blog. I've decided to get rid of those things for a few reasons, and if you're wondering why, read on!

Over the years, I've heard a few pastors say something to this effect: "Live your life in such a way that if God doesn't come through, everything will fall apart."

What they mean is that those who profess to trust in God often plan their lives as if He does not exist... that if God never intervened in their lives it would make no difference because they trust on their own devices. Trusting in our own devices might sound like the only logical thing to the world. How else will you ever accomplish anything, they might ask. But I believe God calls those who trust in Him not to trust on our own devices, but to lean fully on God and be amazed as He constantly provides for us in His own brilliant way. I know that kind of living will bring the joys of knowing God more intimately, and the rejoicing that comes when we watch Him work miracles.

I've been praying lately how to live that out.
(Crazy Love by Francis Chan really influenced me in this way, check it out if you haven't!)
So today was I thinking about my craft business and the thought hit me:

What if I don't trust in my own device of advertising, but trust in God to bring the income that He desires for me? What if i trusted Him to "advertise" for me?

Honestly, it was an unsettling thought at first. I love advertising online! I have a hundred ideas of how I can really get the name out there: how I could contact semi-famous youtube celebrities and have them promote the product, how I can have awesome contests each week on my blog, video how-to's, pictures galore, tweets and updates... and the list goes on. I don't think any of that is bad, and some people might use that and that's exactly what God wants for them. He wants to teach us all different things at different times in different ways, so what He's teaching me right now may or may not apply to others.

But it's on my heart today to stop advertising myself, and trust that God will cause things to happen by His power. Who knows what that will look like, but ,seriously, how much more powerful is God than a youtube celebrity? (The answer is infinitely more. =) ) If God wanted to, He could bring me a thousand sales today. (Which might never be His will for me!) If He wanted to, he could bring me the connections with buyers that I couldn't have gotten through months of advertising. But sometimes it's a lot easy for me to trust that a youtube celebrity, or a thousand tweets are more powerful and practical than the influence and power of God alone. I trust in my heart that God is in control over this world, but do I trust on Him on a minute level over something like selling journals? I sure hope so! I want to be overwhelmed with the work of God and his reign over this world. I want to set up my life so that it falls apart if God doesn't provide.

And God's provision may never bring me "wealth." He may bring me just enough sales to pay the bills. I might actually make thousands more by advertising, but I would be missing out on the most important thing: being close to the heart of God, and being completely satisfied with Him. So by giving up the advertising, I hope to be saying "God, I trust you to bring the income you want for me, whatever that may be... even if it leads to failure (maybe that's telling me to pick a new path.) It's also saying, "God you are more satisfying and worthy of my attention that the thrill of becoming a big business with a lot of sales."

As I knew would happen, the initial unsettled feeling has turned into a sense of freedom, peace, and excitement. (As it often is when we give things up to the Lord.) I do this, not because I want to earn God's favor, but because I believe that we experience so much fulfillment by giving our lives to Him.

A few clarifying things: I won't be stopping me etsy shop (where I sell my items online) because that's where people actually purchase the items. Also, if God brings me advertising opportunities, I will take them! I just mean that I don't want to go out and search for them on my own. If He brings them to me though, I believe that is a way of providing. For example, if that youtube celeb says "Hey, I randomly happened upon your etsy site, can I promote your product?" I will say, "Wow! I had nothing to do with that! Thanks, Lord!" It's not that I don't anyone to hear about Emkats products, it's that I want to leave the control in God's hands. Does that seems to fit with what i've been explaining? If you have any opinions, people let me know!

I would love your support in this. It might be tempting to just take things into my hands, or I might feel at times like God isn't providing. But that might be when I need to trust in Him more, or need my perspective to be changed. Speaking of perspectives, all of this really helps me see with a more eternal perspective. Eternity is what it's always about. Someday I will have to give up control of this business because it won't follow me into Heaven. It's freeing to give up that control now, and focus on what is eternal.

Alright, that's all for now. Thoughts or questions? I'd always love to hear them! Leave me a comment. =)

Thanks for reading!

Hello Again, Irvine.

2010-08-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Irvine again for the first time since graduation. It's fun being back on the campus, visiting friends, seeing the old sights, reminiscing, and feeling like I never left. Okay, so it's only been two months. But people's lives are already moving on to new chapters! The residents from Oakenshield have moved out of the dorms and into apartments. I'm staying with one lovely resident Manisha as I type. Thanks Manisha!

Now, the transition from dorms into these apartments got me thinking. Our appreciation and love for things can be so affected by what we think we are entitled to. Last year I was a resident advisor in the dorms. As an RA, I was so blessed to have a three-room single, meaning I had a little common room with a couch for residents to come hang out in, a back room with my bed and dresser, and a bathroom with my own shower. When I first saw the room, and how much space I had, I was AMAZED. I was so thankful for the abundance! Whenever residents came into my room, they were blown away. "You have TWO ROOMS?" And the bathroom would really get them. "YOUR OWN SHOWER!?" And they were right. It was incredibly convenient, spacious, and luxurious. I was blessed with more than I deserved!

But does that excitement translate when one walks into an apartment? Even when the apartment is offering MORE than the three-room single at the dorm, and ironically, for a cheaper price, I know sometimes my thankfulness would wane. So what changed? Well, the accommodations didn't change. So maybe its my heart that changed. Maybe its my sense of entitlement that changed. Do the expectation for what a dorm room should be and what an apartment should be shape our appreciation? Is our thankfulness determined by what other people say something should be like, or what the standard is? I think mine is often determined this way! I can find myself complaining about something when I think in my mind or hear others tell me "You know, you really deserve more than this... apartments are typically much larger than this."If my dorm room last year were re-located into an apartment complex, and I still payed the same amount of money, would I be great-ful or jealous of all the other apartments? Instead of shifting my standard on what others say, or what my culture says, I would like my thankfulness to be firm in the standard Christ sets. Basically, that is, that I deserve nothing, and everything is a gift! (Oh how often I fail to do this!)

Back to School?

2010-08-15T23:39:00.001-07:00

Well, for the first time in 15 years, I will not be going back to school this fall! It is a bit strange as the time rolls around. Many schools begin instruction tomorrow, and I am reminiscing over my childhood (and early adult) school days. I had so much anticipation on the eve of a new school year. I would lay in bed and imagine all the exciting things about to take place. And yes, I do mean exciting! School was an amazing time for me and a blessing! Sure, there were sleepless nights, difficult moments, and never-ending homework. But why not be immensely thankful to God for the incredible blessing of school. And not just the blessing of school, but the fact that in every circumstance, school, work, or my current state of the in-between, I can praise God and rejoice in the righteousness His son has earned for me! He is faithful through it all. =)

I know because I was taught.

2010-08-12T01:17:00.000-07:00

I can not take credit for the things I know. The things I currently know are either God-given instincts or were taught to me at some point in time. But when I learn something new, what's my tendency? To act as if I always knew it, and by my own accord! For example:

Me: "What does 'abet' mean? I've never heard that word!"
Friend A: "To assist someone in a crime."
Me: "Oh! How interesting. Thank you!"

The next day...

Friend B: "Hey, Emily, what does 'abet' mean? I've never heard that word!"
Me: "What? Are you kidding? You've never of abet? Who hasn't heard of abet?"

Now perhaps it isn't always this overt, (and with Christ's power, I have been able to recognize this sin and battle it) but I do the same things in other ways and especially in my heart. And when someone talks about a subject that I feel I am knowledgeable in, I can feel that pride rising in me, wanting to get a word in, to let people know that I am wise. (Which, by that way, I am not.)

So, I must ask for God's true humility to realize I am not responsible for my own knowledge. I would not know a single thing if it weren't for Christ teaching me. So I hope I can grow in God's humility and live out this fact. I want God to take away my pride in my knowledge, which is nothing compared to His infinite wisdom! Living with this humility can allow me to be in greater awe of God.

With that said, I recently was taught more on a topic that I have been longing to know about. My wonderful sister Lindsay and I drove to and from bay area a few days ago, and all but one hour of the journey was spent going through the history of Israel. I praise God for giving Lindsay the knowledge, who could pass it on to me in a clear manner. I now have a better grasp on the transitions of power, judges, prophets, and kingdoms. I understand the movement of the people from one land to another and the motivations behind those movements. Most importantly, I have a greater appreciation and understanding of God's might works and brilliant plan to save all nations through Jesus Christ. These hour spent learning the story of God's people and God's sovereignty were more thrilling than having the radio on playing doodle jump on my ipod. It was such a joy to see God's picture in a more full and clear light.

What a shame it would be if I took pride in myself for learning these things. Only a few days ago, I was unaware of many amazing things. I didn't know how Israel got to Egypt in the first place. I didn't know the details of Israel's plight from Egypt to the promise land. I didn't know that kings came to rule in Israel because the people turned away from God and begged Samuel for worldly kings. I didn't know the transitions of power from the Assyrians to the Babylonians to the Persians, and beyond. I have been reading through the Old Testament for pretty much the first time, and am currently in 2 Chronicles. I gathered some of these things while reading, but it was amazing to have it explained, and have the words of God really come to life!

Now I must remember that at the age of 21, I was, and STILL am, unaware of so many things. If you are unsure about God's history, still have those lingering questions, don't be too proud to ask! And if you do have a great grasp on these things, don't be proud as if the knowledge came from you. If we have a community of humble people, who care only about God's truth being proclaimed, it will benefit everyone. I know I have been embarrassed to ask the simple questions because my own pride doesn't want to look uneducated or unspiritual. But I was so blessed to have a sister who didn't care how dumb I looked and just wanted me to rejoice in God's awesome works. When I lay down my pride, God can do amazing things.

Finish Strong!

2010-05-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

Twenty four days left in my undergraduate college career. My prayer is to finish strong!

Is what sense? Maybe I could go to the ARC (our gym) one more time before I graduate. Maybe I could go to one more sporting event, maybe one more late night run to Yogurtland, hopefully one more late night playing games with the girls in Oakenshield. I think there is a place for these things, but I know one thing that is far greater than all this. How will I grow in Christ, love him more deeply, and share him with those around me? In that sense I would like to finish this year strong.

As an RA, I can often feel the burden that I need to be doing something for my residents. I might feel like I should be planning more events, making more flyers, visiting more rooms, going more places with them, and the list goes on. With these twenty four more days, where will I spend my time?

I believe the burden is misguided. God is not calling me to carry a burden that I am not working hard enough. He DOES call me to a life of service; but a life of placing that burden on Him. My calling is to take on the joy of sharing Christ, the urgency of sharing Christ, but also the peace in trusting Him to allow things to happen in His timing.

So these next twenty four days, I hope to act with urgency and great service. But not for the things that will fade; not for the "college experience" but for the work of Christ that is truly everlasting. As I am led by the Spirit to act when he calls, (and if I truly listening, I believe he is calling me to act very often!) I can feel a sense of peace and joy even as I share fervently.

Praise the Lord for his peace, and for calling us to something that will never disappoint!

would you journey with me?

2010-04-09T22:28:00.000-07:00

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Romans 12:1-2

To discern what God will is. That's my desire right now. I've had questions floating in my head, questions I've often set aside, and I feel motivated to seek the answers more intentionally. I'm both excited and humbled to learn God's truth.

This search humbles me in a few ways. The answers to these questions may alter the way I live. It also may turn out that I don't need to change much in the area in question, but shouldn't I be willing to do anything for my God who has given everything for me?

Alright, enough with the ambiguity. I would like to understand God's heart for wearing "jewelry, make up, and other adornments." Is this something that he designed as a symbol, something that he celebrates? Is this something he sees as vain? Is this something that grieves his heart? Is there a certain way in which it would grieve him, but a certain way it would honor him?

It's an area I'm relatively uneducated about. The little I know if enough to leave me with confusion. What do we make of biblical stories where jewels and stones used as a symbol of honor, and the commandment to dress modestly without gold jewelry or fine clothes?

I hope now to read more thoroughly these stories, and ask the Holy Spirit to convict me. Like Romans 12 says, his ways are GOOD and PERFECT. If he calls us to wear no fine clothing (not sure what constitutes as such) no jewelry, and no braided hair, and so forth, I know he does so for His greatest glory and our greatest joy. It would be an honor to lay down such things.

But I have to admit the sinful fears in me. (fears that are foolish and can be eased by seeing God more clearly!)

1. Fear of man. The thought that people, other Christians even, will think I'm strange for giving up these things. But only honoring God, not men, matters!

2. The fear that others might think I'm legalistic. But I know that legalism is not obeying God's word, it's believing that by doing so, I'm earning my way to heaven.

3. That I would become self-righteous. It is my tendency to pat myself on the back. But I know that I am saved by Christ's blood, which I don't deserve.

4. That I would become judgmental. It is my tendency to make myself seem greater by pointing out how others aren't obeying as well. But to do so is belittling the amazing work God is doing the lives of believers. Yes there might be a standards that God calls us to, but he still has grace on us when we fail!

So as I read more and pray over this topic, would you journey with me? What do you find in God's word? What do you think the Holy Spirit is revealing to you that is in accordance with Scripture?

I would rather not search this alone. It is always best to have a community. Let's learn more about God's heart and encourage each other!

I guess it goes to show ya...

2010-03-16T23:21:00.000-07:00

...that only God is faithful to each and every one of his promises.

Sorry, blogging resolution, I wasn't as true to you as I'd hope to be.

Today is a Tuesday. It does not feel like a Tuesday. It is different than most Tuesdays. It is the Tuesday of finals week. This may often mean a tireless day of cramming and test taking, as it has in quarters past. But I am so thankful to say that in the midst of the studying, I enjoyed morning time with the Lord, a bright spring sun sharing 83 degrees, study breaks of singing and sewing, and still plenty of time to read through chapters and notes of economy. With no traces of my normal routine, no meetings, no classes, I quite enjoyed this Tuesday!

Also: I love the feeling when finals are finished. The excitement. The relief. The freedom. All that you have worked for has come to completion, and there is finally rest! Imagine then, if we can feel that sense of comfort only after finals are finish, how much more intensely we will experience it when we finally arrive in heaven!

Natural Worship.

2010-02-16T22:29:00.000-08:00

I am sorry for neglecting my blog and my new year's resolution.

But, guess what?

Today is February 16th, and it's time for me to make my February 16th resolution!

I, Emily Fenton, plan to blog every Tuesday and Friday beginning on February 16th and lasting through the month of March.

Okay, so I couldn't even blog every Friday... why would I add Tuesday too!? Well, I think it's not that I don't want to blog or can't think of anything... it's that I often have lots of thoughts and can't chose, so therefore put it off, and don't blog! We shall see what happens!

A thought about a thought...

(Thanks Steven for sending me this quote!) "I believe that the only ones... that are born of the holy spirit... come to Jesus Christ and say something like this, 'Lord Jesus, I'm going to serve you and do what you want me to do as long as I live, even if I go to hell at the end of the road, simply because you are worthy to be loved and obeyed and served and I'm not trying to make a deal with you.'" -Paris Reidhead.

When our love is truly genuine for Christ, we will be so amazed with him that our greatest desire is to give him all our praise. Luke 17:11-19 tells a story about ten lepers who were healed by Jesus. Nine of them left without thanking God, but one "turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving thanks." We can think of worship as a strange and frightening term, but in this man's case, he was so overjoyed, all he wanted to do was fall before Jesus and worship him! There is nothing forced about this worship, because when you really experience Jesus, worship and love is the only natural response! The biggest reason we should not want to go to hell is because not being able to love and adore and worship God would be the most saddening thing to us! I want to continue experiencing and knowing God by his word and his Holy Spirit, and have a heart that can't help but worship him! I am so thankful that I can say this true worship is the way the Lord has been taking me. I long for even more!

Alarms.

2010-01-29T03:08:00.001-08:00

Oakenshield! You've done it! You now hold the record for most fire alarms sounded in a single day! Four times within twenty four hours is pretty impressive. =) And don't forget the three other times this has happened this year! Or was it four? I'm loosing count!

I'm writing now at 3 am after yet another fire alarm went off in Oakenshield due to... well, we aren't sure if anything really set it off this time. You see, the other six, seven, or eight times this has happened this year, it was caused by a shower. A combination of broken vents and a wonky heat detector make for an abrupt end to the showers in suite 301. No burnt food, no candles, no electrical outlets... just poor suite 301 taking their showers. And of course, the entire building must evacuate, whether its 8am, 10am, or 240am like this time. But now, the alarm can't even be traced to the showers! It continues to go off in the bathroom of suite 301, but on its own time; when it decides Oakenshield needs a little adventure.

I may be a little strange, but I enjoy little adventures like these. I do not like that all 80 residents must evacuate along with me, and wish they didn't have any inconvenience! I feel sorry that they all had to wake up and evacuate in the middle of their sleep! (Except Hasmik, who apparently is a very, very deep sleeper!) I think everyone will be laughing in retrospect... right? And like Benedict Anderson says, shared experience creates imagined communities, right!?

NOTE: In the middle of this post, the fire alarm went off again, making that 5 in 24 hours. But as I walked outside to turn off the alarm, (this time not everyone had to evacuate) I got to stop and look at the moon for a minute (after I silenced the alarm!) and remember how grand our God is, and what perspective He watches an event like this, as he also watched each moment, joyful and painful, in the entire universe. I pray that I wouldn't think about complaining over this circumstance, or any circumstance, remembering that God's goodness always remains constant!

Who do I work for?

2010-01-22T23:54:00.000-08:00

Today I met with my RA supervisor and we talked about serving all the needs of every person in my hall. With worldly wisdom he told me that I should think about what each girl in my hall really needs, and not just supply them with my own faith values. I wish so badly that he, and so many others, could see that the only thing worth any value, and the only thing worth sharing, the only thing that will last, the only thing that will truly benefit anyone is Christ. It will not be of any use to bring in a speaker to talk about self-motivation or finding your own path in life. There is one satisfying thing in this world, and I don't want to feed my residents a substitute. When I'm sitting in that office and he is reminding me that diversity is a great thing to cultivate, and others have their own values that we should all consider, it sounds politically sensitive and agreeable. And for me to claim that nothing but Christ matters might sound terribly close-minded to the world. But when we know Christ, we know that he alone is magnificent enough that we should spend all our moments loving and honoring him. It is crucial to remember that I don't serve my supervisor, I serve the Lord.

Winter Quater Begins!

2010-01-08T16:18:00.000-08:00

This first week back in Irvine was one of the greatest. I am so thankful for what the Lord is doing and the boldness of the Holy Spirit. By sure to ask me about what cool things are going on!

Exciting to be back in the dorm with the girls!

I rearranged my room as well. Hooray!

Off to the basketball game!

Go Eaters!

I have many thoughts as classes are starting up again. Excitement is one. I love school. Excitement also that I may (as long as God allows it) graduate at the end of this year. Trying to graduate means a very busy schedule and very little down time. So long as I use my time wisely, that can definitely happen. I hope to stay on top of my work, so that I can really invest in the Oakenshield girls and share Christ more boldly with them. A goal is to get my week's homework done the weekend before so that I can do so. (This weekend will be the first attempt at that!) The world might say it is so hard to balance so many things, and I might like to hear that and then pat myself on the back (out of foolish pride) but God is really the provider of all strength necessary. Now, I don't just mean to say God will automatically give me to power to do everything perfectly just for the sake of good grades or graduating early just to have more time for myself and a higher sense of pride. But I do believe that God could help me read faster, for example, or understand things more quickly, so I have time to do HIS purposes throughout the week: ie. spend time reading his word, serve others and sit down with friends and tell them how wonderful Christ is. (And of course, this is something I should be and hope to be doing throughout the weekend too! But Also try to use all those spare moments in preparing for the week so I am not tied down my homework. If I do this over the weekend, I can get ahead, and drop my homework in order to chat with someone as it comes up! Ya get me? Let me know if you have any input!) He might not help me in those exact ways, if he knows another way is better. But my prayer this weekend will be to ask for God's blessing over all that I need to get done for school, so that in this coming week, I can spend my time for his purposes. I hope to do this in humility, knowing that relying on his strength is far better than relying on mine, and that if he wants to help me in these ways for his purposes, he can do so, but he doesn't have to do it this way. But rather than trying to work very hard on my own strength for purposes that will eventually fade away, I hope to be amazed at how God gives me strength and ability.

I'll let you know how this week goes!

And A Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T23:45:00.000-08:00

Already, I was 20 minutes away from not fulfilling my first New Year's resolution. (Blog every Friday)

But luckily, I noticed just in time! So, this first blog will not be clever, inspirational, or anything but just saving myself from breaking my New Year's resolution. =)

Happy New Year, everyone! As long as God helps me keep this resolution (and it will ONLY happen if I actually pray for his help) I will see you next Friday! (or sooner!)

Light and Knowledge.

2009-11-17T02:03:00.000-08:00

The night sky, I have been shown, is a fantastic illustration to life.

Tonight was the Leonid meteor shower. Some residents and I sat on a bridge high above the earth's atmosphere in order to catch a glimpse! Well, we were kind above the street lights at least. Almost.

We did get to see a few breath taking meteors shoot through the atmosphere! I wish I could watch them again in slow motion. They were brilliant!

But while we only saw a few meteors, due to the surrounding city lights, there were in reality much greater numbers of meteors that we could not see. They existed, but we couldn't see them! What a truth to our own lives! How much is happening in the spiritual realm, and the realm of the knowledge of Christ, that we are blind to; don't realize because it has not been brought to light. Christ is the light that reveals the truth of this world!

Now, I'm not sure the logistics of all this work out perfectly, but, nevertheless, in attempts to stretch my analogy even further, I will ask, why is it that we can't see the true light and distant reality? Could it be the street lights, which are dramatically weaker that the light of the meteors, are somehow stealing our attention? Though they are no comparison to the light above, when they are placed right in front of our eyes, we can no longer see the true ad beautiful light in the distance. False gods and Satan's lies act as light, but are really just a distraction from the truth.

" ⁵This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. ⁷But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with
one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. "
1 John 1:5-7

Psalm 73

2009-11-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

Thanks, sister Lindsay, for reminding me of this wonderful psalm.

"But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end." verse 16-17

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." verses 23-28

working on kit.

2009-11-10T20:38:00.000-08:00

I am praying God would enable me to keep in touch with people better. I can take a long time to email someone back, and have trouble writing even those who are closest to me. God can certainly change this, and I hope he does! I pray I would do so only for one purpose: to encourage growth in Christ and the joy of him in the lives of others! All other reasons for keeping in touch, while they may sound good to the world, will perish like everything else. Long lasting friendships will fade away if they are not for the purpose of delighting in Christ. But keeping in touch for God's eternal purposes: this is valuable.

This improvement can only be made through Christ! Ask me how I'm doing with this in a few days, weeks, months, years, and I hope to share the work God has done. =)

Only Fear God

2009-10-30T14:04:00.000-07:00

This is something I am learning everyday. Thank the Lord he is constantly working this in me. But I recognize the areas I need to grow. I still worry about what people think about me and want to impress people. Silly, silly, Emily. What's it for? There is no gain! You know it is a burdensome task!

But there is actually freedom in fearing only God! There will be no disappointments like there would be in futile efforts of pleasing people. I believe there will be peace and joy in only fearing God. Again, perspective changes everything. When I fully and truly only fear God, oh how AWESOME that will be! I don't want it to be far in the distance. Humble me, Lord, so I can fear you now.

Checking in...

2009-10-25T14:31:00.000-07:00

Hello reader! I have trouble writing while I listen to music. But my pandora play list is really wonderful right now, and I'm willing to let my writing take this shot so I can continue listening. The playlist is "The Vitamin Sting Quartet." Instrumental music adapted from great artists. Very soothing!

And now! 10 updates:

1. My nephew, baby Caleb, is a beautiful child! Now almost 4 weeks old. =)

2. I am excited to start a Bible study in my dorm room for any interested residents and staff members. Please pray God would allow for great depth!

3. I continue to realize how foolish my mind is compared to God's infinite knowledge of truth and beauty.

4. I love my boyfriend Steven so very very very much. I'm extremely thankful for his friendship and love.

5. I bought a carmel latte last night with a check instead of cash.

6. An info-mercial inspired me to test the "bump-it" hair product. My resident had one in her room. I looked ridiculous. I loved it so much. tee hee hee.

7. Astronomy class is blowing my mind. The solar system is so intricate and vast! There is always something to be amazed by even on this earth. Imagine how much more so as we draw closer to the Lord and into Heaven!

8. I am extremely blessed with a fellow believer as the RA in the neighboring dorm. Her name is Melody and she is a gift from the Lord =)

9. School is busy, but God provides.

10. I still hope to go to Japan this summer, with Steven too, if the Lord wants us to go. =)

1 Peter 1:8-9

"Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Lord, be our pursuit.

2009-10-02T21:52:00.000-07:00

"For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits."

James 1:11

"As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.... but the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him."

Psalm 103:15-17

These verses came alive this week as I found out a close high school friend passed away unexpectedly in a car accident. My boyfriend called and told me the news. Her name could have been replaced with anyone's. It could have been mine and it could have been yours. So what are we living for? Is it all worth it? What will last? If we are living for Jesus Christ and loving him, everything we do to serve Him and love Him will indeed last. What a joy!

This is such a tangible example that the Lord does indeed and give and take away. But because of His great love, wisdom, mercy, compassion, justice, humility, righteousness, and perfection, His name is always to be praised. There is always comfort and joy in the Lord.

Many more thoughts are coming. Prayers for her friends and family are continuing. See you next time.

-Emily

Jibber Jabber.

2009-08-30T11:34:00.000-07:00

I have intended to update this many a time.
Guess I've got to work on following through.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, FRIDAY and I'm driving down to Irvine for my third year of college. This year is I've the opportunity to be an RA for 80 first year women. EXCITEMENT! Friday begins the training process, and about 3 weeks later, the residents will move in! A fantastic opportunity and ministry. So thankful. Please pray for that hall. =)

Leaving Fresno will have its share of heartaches. As I go down south, my boyfriend will head up north, and we will be re-acquainted with video chat and phone dates. But in Christ, relationships can thrive across California, encouragement can continue. If I realize the joy in both of our ministries, we might be tangibly distant, but not emotionally distant.

This week will fly by, as will this year. Only what is in Christ will last. I'm glad for that. =)

Old Testment. New Perspectives.

2009-08-07T09:33:00.000-07:00

I have been enjoying the Old Testament like never before. Finally getting in there and reading it for myself. I think I've always been slightly intimidated by it, wondering if it would reveal a God other than the one I know. And it certainly does reveal characteristics with which I'm not as acquainted. But that gives a better and more full understanding of who God is. In light of the Old Testament, the New promises we have in Christ are coming alive! Some passages are hard to wrestle with. Wars confuse me. Plagues can trouble me. But don't stop at confusion or trouble, Emily! Maybe you're only squinting at the situation, and you miss the panorama view. Ask God to make sense of these events. Ask Him for the key factor that our hearts can't find on their own. It's there, we just need a new perspective. I think we will be delighted with the clarity God wants to bring to difficult history. I know I am just scratching the surface, but I've been encouraged by the deeper meanings of the Old Testament.

And now: A sigh of relief.

2009-06-04T13:26:00.000-07:00

Again, I am so thankful for God's strength.

"And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:19

This week was one of the busiest I've had in a while. A little procrastination plus some unfortunate timing, and I found myself having a paper, a take-home final, and a Japanese speaking final due on the same day. With 3 days to tackle these assignments, I am sitting here in relief that it actually got done.

It's simple. I could not have done it if the Lord did not give me His strength, His perspective, His joy, His knowledge. I found myself enjoying the work. I quickly understood material I had struggled with for weeks, memorization came easily, the essay flowed. Thank you, Lord!

If all these things had failed, it really wouldn't have mattered much in the scope of things. But the grace God clearly showed me this week will be remembered. I am so so so thankful the assignments are finished. I am even more thankful of knowing my God in times like this. =)

Yay!

it's a promise.

2009-05-31T00:18:00.000-07:00

Trust that Jesus satisfies! For real. =)

"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." -John 4: 13

"Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." - John 6:37

"I have told you this so that my joy may be n your and that your joy may be complete." -John 15:11

Thank you, Lord!

in the nick of time.

2009-05-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

I just had a truly fantastic weekend visiting my wonderful boyfriend Steven! Early (oh, so early) Tuesday morning, it was time to head back to Irvine. At the airport, I stepped in the security line, unable to see its impressive length ahead of me. As the line rounded the corner, it's size was unveiled.

oh no. this line is long. really long. like... 80% chance I'm not going to make my flight long.

I prayed the line would go fast... really fast. I prayed that something wonderful would happen, allowing me to make my flight.

At 7 minutes till my plane left the ground, I still had a ways to go. I'm generally bad at estimating, but I'm going to claim there were about 50 people still ahead of me. A man checked my ticket and asked " how are ya doin' this morning?"

"I'm doing well, but I'm cutting it real close."
"How close?"
"My plane leaves in 7 minutes."
Pause.
"(A name I can't remember)! Can you take this young lady to the front of the line? Her plane leaves in 7 minutes."

And to my delight, that kind lady smiled and motioned me to come with her "Excuse me, pardon me, coming through..." I was at the front of the line. And within 3 minutes, I was sitting on my plane.

Thank the Lord. Seriously, thank the Lord. =)

Time and weakness.

2009-05-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

Time and weakness always make me think.

Today was Spring Fling, the last of four "large scale" programs we hold for the residents in the dorms. I clearly remember planning for this event during training before the school year began. It seemed so very far away. As if it would never really arrive. Now it is a memory. Insane.

Again, I reminisce: Half way through my sophomore year of high school, Ms. Ferd, my (incredible) English teacher encouraged us to write about being half way through high school. At the time I thought, "Half way through high school... where has the time gone!" And that was 4 years ago.

I'm sure you can think of your own similar examples. They are everywhere. Time doesn't stop speeding by.

Not to scare us though. God works outside of time. He is not constrained by time. He can finish projects, answer prayers, or save lives in any duration of time. He can act quickly if we call on Him.

No, time doesn't make me worry. In fact, it's a kind reminder to reassess what matters. Time flies by and so do people and materials and successes. Christ doesn't fly by. He will always be and always be working.

Alright, back to Spring Fling.

I was walking around the dorm complex cleaning up some decorations. I had a while to walk and I wanted to just teleport to my destination. As you might have guessed, I couldn't. I'm so glad I couldn't. If I could, I might have a false sense of strength. I'm truly thankful for God's reminders of my weakness. It allows me to contrast it with God's strength. Then it allows me to call on that strength. Then I am able to rejoice when I receive that strength!

I'm also able to remember what is important. Getting to the other side of campus to pick up the balloons is not important. Sure, it is something I need to do. And I'll get there. But the walk with God to get the balloons is the important part.

In high school, I was able to visit an orphanage in Mexico for a few weeks. They built everything there by hand. It was a long process requiring many hands to build anything there. We spent several hours each morning digging trenches, mixing cement, transferring wheelbarrows, and laying bricks. There were many alternatives to make the process go much faster. But they decided the hard work builds character and allows for great conversation. It did, indeed! Those hours spent working were some of the richest.

I think I'm always trying to find the shortest route to do something, but forget the best things might happen in the process. I'm thankful for weaknesses that allow us to move slowly. Maybe we will see more opportunities that way.

Brought to you by Sarah Welles.

2009-05-12T23:29:00.000-07:00

Sarah has randomly suggested the word "bottle" for today's post.

I have two things to say about this topic.

1) Question. How do they get those incredibly intricate and minuscule ship replicas inside of those bottles?

2) "Genie in a Bottle." Why did I ever like that song? Oh, young, impressionable minds...

That's all for today!

It's been a while.

2009-04-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

We're trying things new 'round here at Emily Fenton's blog spot. She is trusting Steven's topic recommendations to inspire her blog writings. He says the word, and it's done.

Today's thoughtful topic tip: Cheesecake.

Unfortunately, Emily really doesn't have much to say about cheesecake.

Hopefully tomorrow's topic proves more stimulating.

Thanks for joining us!

2009-03-18T21:36:00.000-07:00

Hi blog! How ya been? I can't chat now, but I promise to visit very soon.

Finals week. Good times. =)

Just one thing.

2009-02-06T00:23:00.000-08:00

I am thinking much, learning much, feeling much, wishing to express much, but I know just one thing is truly crucial to say at this late hour as I head to sleep:

Christ will never disappoint us.

Evaluation.

2009-01-28T13:12:00.000-08:00

I work as a Community Programmer in a housing complex at UCI. (greatest job ever...) I work closely with 11 other people who do my similar job. We recently filled out peer evaluations for each member of the team. Today I read those addressed to me.

There were many comments that left me thanking Christ for working in me. There were also comments that hurt. It hurt that I agreed with their criticisms. "A lot of times, I feel like Emily wants everything to be her way, even when it is not her program." "Emily, you do a great job in taking the lead, but sometimes I want to see other members shine." "I get the feeling that she likes to do things independently, which isn't necessarily a bad thing."

This is something I pray about a lot. "Lord, would I take a step back and involve others in the process. The outcome doens't matter as much as the relationships along the way. Humble me enough to see my way isn't the best way."

I thank God I can see this area improving so much. I really can. But I know how much further God can take me in it.

I left my supervisor's office with a head full of thoughts. I was thanking God for great things He has changed in me, praying he would never stop, praying my team would see Christ in me, that my faults wouldn't keep anyone from seeing Christ, praying that I would love my team so much, praying that I would take the criticism and use it as encouragement. There was another thought. It was so beautiful.

I left the room thinking "They might be falsely accusing me, or they might be right on the money. Either way, the shame I feel from these comments doesn't have to exist. They are not my judges... God, you are my judge!" And I felt all the comfort I needed.

And it hit me, as it has before, that is the most insane thing to find comfort in!

Why would I find comfort in a God who knows, not just this fault the team has found, but each and every little sin, huge sin, disgusting thought, or selfish motive!? How is it comforting that a God who has the power and right to punish me for all those thoughts is my judge? Shouldn't I be far more ashamed in front of him than any peer evaluation!?

Yes! I should! I should be frightened! Yet I find comfort that I will never be ashamed in front of Him!

Oh the cross of Christ is so beautiful when I realize what I deserve next to what I'm graciously getting.

Thank you Lord for this comfort in the very thing that should send me to my death.

Thank you that I will never be ashamed!

Answered.

2009-01-14T22:06:00.000-08:00

I am working on my Japanese homework, the listening portion.

I must mark yes or no for each question. I listened to the last question three times but did not understand what it was saying. Oh, well, I thought. I simply marked the answer found in the answer packet and was going to move on.

...but what if I prayed about it? I could ask God to help in this seemingly insignificant homework problem. He doesn't have to, but God could certainly make me understand!

So I prayed. And God listened. And answered like he loves to do!
I listened to it one more time, and I knew what it said. Amazing. =)

Thank you, Lord, for showing me your care and your power in something so simple.

Back to school.

2009-01-07T10:45:00.001-08:00

I am sitting here in between classes overlooking this beautiful park with its wild trees and clever shadows. Such a view makes me appreciate the joy Christ really wants for our lives. People are speeding past me in their fancy clothes, hopes of a degree; honestly anything that will appear to satisfy. As they do, I wonder, as I always do, what Christ meant when he said our "joy may be complete." I wonder if its not that we go looking for things to find joy in, but Christ makes us find joy in everything we come across. We can enjoy whatever comes our way, whether a beautiful tree, or pain and persecution, because we ultimately enjoy Him. And He will always be there.

Okay. Class time!

a very merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T12:30:00.000-08:00

Indeed!

Check out this beautiful verse about the coming of Christ into his world:

To us a child is born,
to us a son is given
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor
Mighty God
Everlasting Father
Prince of Peace
Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will rain on David's throne
and over his kingdom
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty will establish this.

Isaiah 9:6-7
hundreds of years before Christ.

I'm home...

2008-12-14T00:55:00.000-08:00

...and apparently, to the "best little city in the U.S.A"

I would have to agree. =)

even in the small stuff.

2008-12-10T21:42:00.000-08:00

Join me for story time!
Location: Irvine. The University of California Irvine.
Time: Everybody's favorite week: finals week. *
Main Characters: Emily Fenton, Nagai Sensee, The Lord
Mood: Thankful.

(*I actually really enjoy finals week.)
-----------------------------------
Yesterday afternoon at approximately 1:15pm, I set out of my dorm to take my Japanese Final. I was excited for a test of such an enjoyable topic. As I neared my bike, I contemplated if riding it to class would be the best way to travel. It would make sense to take it this day, just as I had done every single morning for the past 10 weeks. But this afternoon I kept walking. Because I had a few extra minutes, and for reasons not yet understood, I decided to take the scenic route by foot. I continued walking in a direction away from the path my bike traditionally took. After minutes of continuing on this new path, I bumped into... none other than Nagai sensee, my Japanese teacher! We exchanged hellos, and I started continuing down my path. But I noticed sensee had a different intended direction. "Where is she going?" I questioned silently. Nagai sensee went left, not straight. But class is this way, sensee... She appraoched a building with every intention of entering. Now why would sensee be going inside that strange building only 10 minutes before a very importan.... Oh my! That building, not... the final is... oh. wow. Lord, thank you! God, you just saved me from visiting the wrong classroom and nearly missing my Japanese final! Oh, my. You changed my path so I would find the correct location! As it turned out, the location for the new classroom was posted on the website. I had read this information countless times, but nevr processed it correctly. I followed sensee into the new classroom with releif. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had arrived to an empty classroom on the other side of campus, but I'm certainly glad the Lord didn't let me find out.

Taking a Japanese final is not the largest issue in the world. God did not need to save me in such a situation. But I think he delights in revealing Himself, even in the small stuff.
---------------------------------------------------------------

...but his own did not receive him.

2008-10-15T01:19:00.000-07:00

I just can't stand it any longer. I've been hit by the blogging bug, and I'm not going to ignore it any more... Let's start this thing!
I start tonight because I want to record some awesome works of God before they escape my memory. Whether 1:30 am is an ideal time to write my debut blog, I am not sure. But tonight I'm going to attempt the quick (and potentially messy) version of my story. I will fight that urge to change my syntax, substitute dead words for more intelligent ones, or begin a rhyming theme, as I often do(n't)... and cut right to the chase!

Tonight was to begin my hall's (Grey Havens) Bible discussion. God has already blessed multiple conversations about himself in this hall, and people have been showing a great interest in reading the Bible and chatting about their spiritual thoughts. I have been so so so encouraged by God's answer to prayer. Within the first two weeks, God has truly opened people to chat about Christ. I was hoping, praying, expecting this night, by God's awesome grace, to start a great dorm Bible discussion. Joni and I have been praying that God would take control of the Bible study and do some amazing things in people's hearts! We trust he will this year!

Not to over dramatize any events, or provoke pity in any reader, but 10:00 rolled around (late, I know) and not a person (besides faithful Joni) showed up to my room. Oh, people said they would, but Joni, myself, and our snack display were only left waiting. At the first realization that no one was coming (at least on time) I still knew for certain that the Lord had great plans for this study. Sure no one was there yet, but He had heard every prayer, he was not going to abandon us. I knew this... I knew this... I knew this... but for some reason, through my own sin, and Satan's lies, I became greatly discouraged. The Lord began to fight my mind's battle for a right perspective. "Christ cares more about this discussion than even I do!" I told myself that wonderful truth over and over. I prayed that God would not let me get upset for a single second. Was I broken hearted for the lost, or for my own plans going awry?

I knew God's truth, His faithfulness that never changes, nor ever will... but I had to pray hard that God would help me live that truth in that moment. "Lord, would your will still be done, would my pride mean nothing to me, and would you encourage me in this moment! Please still bring people to this Bible study tonight! Please! Not because I deserve that blessing, nor because I think I have done a good job praying for this night, but because you love the people in this hall, and because you would do anything to be with them. Because you did everything to be with them. Because you suffered the most brutal death for them. Would you bring people to this room tonight." I fought back the silly tears as Christ reminded me of his compassion.

I knew, and God knew, how silly it was to be discouraged in such a situation. God still wanted to claim victory over that Bible discussion. People didn't show up on time... but was that such a problem for God? I realized God could, and wanted, to still answer my prayers that night. I prayed again that God would bring people to my room that night.

And in came a friend. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it on time!" She was having a difficult conversation with a friend.
Her roommate stopped by. "Oh, I'm really into Greek mythology, but I do want to know what the Bible has to say."
Another came to my room for the first time this year. I truly trust God brought her because she is searching for the Lord.
Another Christian desiring to learn more about God, came soon after.
We snacked on lightly salted chips and began to share our testimonies. Some of us trusted and treasured Christ. Others were far from him. But as everyone shared, I could only be thankful God has turned the night around! One asked about abortion and why God was a man. Another asked us to clarify the Trinity. Hearts were so open. And willing to, by the continued grace of God, come back next week when we actually began reading from John Chapter 1.
Two more joined the group at the end of our conversation. I pray they will make it back next week!

And I pray I would never forget God's faithfulness. I am so thankful God didn't let me forget it this evening. He helped me know all along that he never forgets to answer prayer. Even in my discouragement, God helped me remember that. And then He pulled me out of my discouragement and revealed a great answer to prayer. His answers might be so different than what I expect, but I always need to keep expecting. It may seem delyed to me, but it will be answered. God loves to asnwer our prayers, because he would do anything to be with us, and he did everything by suffereing on the cross.

As I prayed and waited in a nearly empty room for someone to show, I remembered John 1:10. "He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him."
In that small hour I thought "Look at what we've prepared for you! Please come join us, we really want you to know the Father!"
I can't even imagine Christ's longing as He died on the cross.