Hello Again, Irvine.

I'm back in Irvine again for the first time since graduation. It's fun being back on the campus, visiting friends, seeing the old sights, reminiscing, and feeling like I never left. Okay, so it's only been two months. But people's lives are already moving on to new chapters! The residents from Oakenshield have moved out of the dorms and into apartments. I'm staying with one lovely resident Manisha as I type. Thanks Manisha!

Now, the transition from dorms into these apartments got me thinking. Our appreciation and love for things can be so affected by what we think we are entitled to. Last year I was a resident advisor in the dorms. As an RA, I was so blessed to have a three-room single, meaning I had a little common room with a couch for residents to come hang out in, a back room with my bed and dresser, and a bathroom with my own shower.  When I first saw the room, and how much space I had, I was AMAZED. I was so thankful for the abundance! Whenever residents came into my room, they were blown away. "You have TWO ROOMS?" And the bathroom would really get them. "YOUR OWN SHOWER!?" And they were right.  It was incredibly convenient, spacious, and luxurious. I was blessed with more than I deserved!

But does that excitement translate when one walks into an apartment? Even when the apartment is offering MORE than the three-room single at the dorm, and ironically, for a cheaper price, I know sometimes my thankfulness would wane. So what changed? Well, the accommodations didn't change. So maybe its my heart that changed. Maybe its my sense of entitlement that changed.  Do the expectation for what a dorm room should be and what an apartment should be shape our appreciation? Is our thankfulness determined by what other people say something should be like, or what the standard is? I think mine is often determined this way! I can find myself complaining about something when I think in my mind or hear others tell me "You know, you really deserve more than this... apartments are typically much larger than this."If my dorm room last year were re-located into an apartment complex, and I still payed the same amount of money, would I be great-ful or jealous of all the other apartments?  Instead of shifting my standard on what others say, or what my culture says, I would like my thankfulness to be firm in the standard Christ sets. Basically, that is, that I deserve nothing, and everything is a gift! (Oh how often I fail to do this!)

Back to School?

Well, for the first time in 15 years, I will not be going back to school this fall! It is a bit strange as the time rolls around. Many schools begin instruction tomorrow, and I am reminiscing over my childhood (and early adult) school days. I had so much anticipation on the eve of a new school year. I would lay in bed and imagine all the exciting things about to take place. And yes, I do mean exciting! School was an amazing time for me and a blessing! Sure, there were sleepless nights, difficult moments, and never-ending homework. But why not be immensely thankful to God for the incredible blessing of school. And not just the blessing of school, but the fact that in every circumstance, school, work, or my current state of the in-between, I can praise God and rejoice in the righteousness His son has earned for me! He is faithful through it all. =)

I know because I was taught.

I can not take credit for the things I know. The things I currently know are either God-given instincts or were taught to me at some point in time. But when I learn something new, what's my tendency? To act as if I always knew it, and by my own accord!  For example:

Me: "What does 'abet' mean? I've never heard that word!"
Friend A: "To assist someone in a crime."
Me: "Oh! How interesting. Thank you!"

The next day...

Friend B: "Hey, Emily, what does 'abet' mean? I've never heard that word!"
Me: "What? Are you kidding? You've never of abet? Who hasn't heard of abet?"

Now perhaps it isn't always this overt, (and with Christ's power, I have been able to recognize this sin and battle it) but I do the same things in other ways and especially in my heart.  And when someone talks about a subject that I feel I am knowledgeable in, I can feel that pride rising in me, wanting to get a word in, to let people know that I am wise. (Which, by that way, I am not.)

So, I must ask for God's true humility to realize I am not responsible for my own knowledge. I would not know a single thing if it weren't for Christ teaching me. So I hope I can grow in God's humility and live out this fact. I want God to take away my pride in my knowledge, which is nothing compared to His infinite wisdom!  Living with this humility can allow me to be in greater awe of God.

With that said, I recently was taught more on a topic that I have been longing to know about. My wonderful sister Lindsay and I drove to and from bay area a few days ago, and all but one hour of the journey was spent going through the history of Israel. I praise God for giving Lindsay the knowledge, who could pass it on to me in a clear manner. I now have a better grasp on the transitions of power, judges, prophets, and kingdoms. I understand the movement of the people from one land to another and the motivations behind those movements. Most importantly, I have a greater appreciation and understanding of God's might works and brilliant plan to save all nations through Jesus Christ.  These hour spent learning the story of God's people and God's sovereignty were more thrilling than having the radio on playing doodle jump on my ipod. It was such a joy to see God's picture in a more full and clear light.

What a shame it would be if I took pride in myself for learning these things. Only a few days ago, I was unaware of many amazing things. I didn't know how Israel got to Egypt in the first place.  I didn't know the details of Israel's plight from Egypt to the promise land.  I didn't know that kings came to rule in Israel because the people turned away from God and begged Samuel for worldly kings.  I didn't know the transitions of power from the Assyrians to the Babylonians to the Persians, and beyond. I have been reading through the Old Testament for pretty much the first time, and am currently in 2 Chronicles. I gathered some of these things while reading, but it was amazing to have it explained, and have the words of God really come to life!

Now I must remember that at the age of 21, I was, and STILL am, unaware of so many things. If you are unsure about God's history, still have those lingering questions, don't be too proud to ask! And if you do have a great grasp on these things, don't be proud as if the knowledge came from you. If we have a community of humble people, who care only about God's truth being proclaimed, it will benefit everyone. I know I have been embarrassed to ask the simple questions because my own pride doesn't want to look uneducated or unspiritual. But I was so blessed to have a sister who didn't care how dumb I looked and just wanted me to rejoice in God's awesome works. When I lay down my pride, God can do amazing things.