Light and Knowledge.

The night sky, I have been shown, is a fantastic illustration to life.

Tonight was the Leonid meteor shower. Some residents and I sat on a bridge high above the earth's atmosphere in order to catch a glimpse! Well, we were kind above the street lights at least. Almost.

We did get to see a few breath taking meteors shoot through the atmosphere! I wish I could watch them again in slow motion. They were brilliant!

But while we only saw a few meteors, due to the surrounding city lights, there were in reality much greater numbers of meteors that we could not see. They existed, but we couldn't see them! What a truth to our own lives! How much is happening in the spiritual realm, and the realm of the knowledge of Christ, that we are blind to; don't realize because it has not been brought to light. Christ is the light that reveals the truth of this world!

Now, I'm not sure the logistics of all this work out perfectly, but, nevertheless, in attempts to stretch my analogy even further, I will ask, why is it that we can't see the true light and distant reality? Could it be the street lights, which are dramatically weaker that the light of the meteors, are somehow stealing our attention? Though they are no comparison to the light above, when they are placed right in front of our eyes, we can no longer see the true ad beautiful light in the distance. False gods and Satan's lies act as light, but are really just a distraction from the truth.

" ⁵This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. ⁷But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with
one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. "
1 John 1:5-7

Psalm 73

Thanks, sister Lindsay, for reminding me of this wonderful psalm.

"But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end." verse 16-17

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." verses 23-28

working on kit.

I am praying God would enable me to keep in touch with people better. I can take a long time to email someone back, and have trouble writing even those who are closest to me. God can certainly change this, and I hope he does! I pray I would do so only for one purpose: to encourage growth in Christ and the joy of him in the lives of others! All other reasons for keeping in touch, while they may sound good to the world, will perish like everything else. Long lasting friendships will fade away if they are not for the purpose of delighting in Christ. But keeping in touch for God's eternal purposes: this is valuable.

This improvement can only be made through Christ! Ask me how I'm doing with this in a few days, weeks, months, years, and I hope to share the work God has done. =)

Only Fear God

This is something I am learning everyday. Thank the Lord he is constantly working this in me. But I recognize the areas I need to grow. I still worry about what people think about me and want to impress people. Silly, silly, Emily. What's it for? There is no gain! You know it is a burdensome task!

But there is actually freedom in fearing only God! There will be no disappointments like there would be in futile efforts of pleasing people. I believe there will be peace and joy in only fearing God. Again, perspective changes everything. When I fully and truly only fear God, oh how AWESOME that will be! I don't want it to be far in the distance. Humble me, Lord, so I can fear you now.

Checking in...

Hello reader! I have trouble writing while I listen to music. But my pandora play list is really wonderful right now, and I'm willing to let my writing take this shot so I can continue listening. The playlist is "The Vitamin Sting Quartet." Instrumental music adapted from great artists. Very soothing!

And now! 10 updates:

1. My nephew, baby Caleb, is a beautiful child! Now almost 4 weeks old. =)

2. I am excited to start a Bible study in my dorm room for any interested residents and staff members. Please pray God would allow for great depth!

3. I continue to realize how foolish my mind is compared to God's infinite knowledge of truth and beauty.

4. I love my boyfriend Steven so very very very much. I'm extremely thankful for his friendship and love.

5. I bought a carmel latte last night with a check instead of cash.

6. An info-mercial inspired me to test the "bump-it" hair product. My resident had one in her room. I looked ridiculous. I loved it so much. tee hee hee.

7. Astronomy class is blowing my mind. The solar system is so intricate and vast! There is always something to be amazed by even on this earth. Imagine how much more so as we draw closer to the Lord and into Heaven!

8. I am extremely blessed with a fellow believer as the RA in the neighboring dorm. Her name is Melody and she is a gift from the Lord =)

9. School is busy, but God provides.

10. I still hope to go to Japan this summer, with Steven too, if the Lord wants us to go. =)

1 Peter 1:8-9

"Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Lord, be our pursuit.

"For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits."

James 1:11

"As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.... but the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him."

Psalm 103:15-17

These verses came alive this week as I found out a close high school friend passed away unexpectedly in a car accident. My boyfriend called and told me the news. Her name could have been replaced with anyone's. It could have been mine and it could have been yours. So what are we living for? Is it all worth it? What will last? If we are living for Jesus Christ and loving him, everything we do to serve Him and love Him will indeed last. What a joy!

This is such a tangible example that the Lord does indeed and give and take away. But because of His great love, wisdom, mercy, compassion, justice, humility, righteousness, and perfection, His name is always to be praised. There is always comfort and joy in the Lord.

Many more thoughts are coming. Prayers for her friends and family are continuing. See you next time.

-Emily

Jibber Jabber.

I have intended to update this many a time.
Guess I've got to work on following through.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, FRIDAY and I'm driving down to Irvine for my third year of college. This year is I've the opportunity to be an RA for 80 first year women. EXCITEMENT! Friday begins the training process, and about 3 weeks later, the residents will move in! A fantastic opportunity and ministry. So thankful. Please pray for that hall. =)

Leaving Fresno will have its share of heartaches. As I go down south, my boyfriend will head up north, and we will be re-acquainted with video chat and phone dates. But in Christ, relationships can thrive across California, encouragement can continue. If I realize the joy in both of our ministries, we might be tangibly distant, but not emotionally distant.

This week will fly by, as will this year. Only what is in Christ will last. I'm glad for that. =)

Old Testment. New Perspectives.

I have been enjoying the Old Testament like never before. Finally getting in there and reading it for myself. I think I've always been slightly intimidated by it, wondering if it would reveal a God other than the one I know. And it certainly does reveal characteristics with which I'm not as acquainted. But that gives a better and more full understanding of who God is. In light of the Old Testament, the New promises we have in Christ are coming alive! Some passages are hard to wrestle with. Wars confuse me. Plagues can trouble me. But don't stop at confusion or trouble, Emily! Maybe you're only squinting at the situation, and you miss the panorama view. Ask God to make sense of these events. Ask Him for the key factor that our hearts can't find on their own. It's there, we just need a new perspective. I think we will be delighted with the clarity God wants to bring to difficult history. I know I am just scratching the surface, but I've been encouraged by the deeper meanings of the Old Testament.

And now: A sigh of relief.

Again, I am so thankful for God's strength.

"And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:19

This week was one of the busiest I've had in a while. A little procrastination plus some unfortunate timing, and I found myself having a paper, a take-home final, and a Japanese speaking final due on the same day. With 3 days to tackle these assignments, I am sitting here in relief that it actually got done.

It's simple. I could not have done it if the Lord did not give me His strength, His perspective, His joy, His knowledge. I found myself enjoying the work. I quickly understood material I had struggled with for weeks, memorization came easily, the essay flowed. Thank you, Lord!

If all these things had failed, it really wouldn't have mattered much in the scope of things. But the grace God clearly showed me this week will be remembered. I am so so so thankful the assignments are finished. I am even more thankful of knowing my God in times like this. =)

Yay!

it's a promise.

Trust that Jesus satisfies! For real. =)

"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." -John 4: 13

"Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." - John 6:37

"I have told you this so that my joy may be n your and that your joy may be complete." -John 15:11

Thank you, Lord!

in the nick of time.

I just had a truly fantastic weekend visiting my wonderful boyfriend Steven! Early (oh, so early) Tuesday morning, it was time to head back to Irvine. At the airport, I stepped in the security line, unable to see its impressive length ahead of me. As the line rounded the corner, it's size was unveiled.

oh no. this line is long. really long. like... 80% chance I'm not going to make my flight long.

I prayed the line would go fast... really fast. I prayed that something wonderful would happen, allowing me to make my flight.

At 7 minutes till my plane left the ground, I still had a ways to go. I'm generally bad at estimating, but I'm going to claim there were about 50 people still ahead of me. A man checked my ticket and asked " how are ya doin' this morning?"

"I'm doing well, but I'm cutting it real close."
"How close?"
"My plane leaves in 7 minutes."
Pause.
"(A name I can't remember)! Can you take this young lady to the front of the line? Her plane leaves in 7 minutes."

And to my delight, that kind lady smiled and motioned me to come with her "Excuse me, pardon me, coming through..." I was at the front of the line. And within 3 minutes, I was sitting on my plane.

Thank the Lord. Seriously, thank the Lord. =)

Time and weakness.

Time and weakness always make me think.

Today was Spring Fling, the last of four "large scale" programs we hold for the residents in the dorms. I clearly remember planning for this event during training before the school year began. It seemed so very far away. As if it would never really arrive. Now it is a memory. Insane.

Again, I reminisce: Half way through my sophomore year of high school, Ms. Ferd, my (incredible) English teacher encouraged us to write about being half way through high school. At the time I thought, "Half way through high school... where has the time gone!" And that was 4 years ago.

I'm sure you can think of your own similar examples. They are everywhere. Time doesn't stop speeding by.

Not to scare us though. God works outside of time. He is not constrained by time. He can finish projects, answer prayers, or save lives in any duration of time. He can act quickly if we call on Him.

No, time doesn't make me worry. In fact, it's a kind reminder to reassess what matters. Time flies by and so do people and materials and successes. Christ doesn't fly by. He will always be and always be working.

Alright, back to Spring Fling.

I was walking around the dorm complex cleaning up some decorations. I had a while to walk and I wanted to just teleport to my destination. As you might have guessed, I couldn't. I'm so glad I couldn't. If I could, I might have a false sense of strength. I'm truly thankful for God's reminders of my weakness. It allows me to contrast it with God's strength. Then it allows me to call on that strength. Then I am able to rejoice when I receive that strength!

I'm also able to remember what is important. Getting to the other side of campus to pick up the balloons is not important. Sure, it is something I need to do. And I'll get there. But the walk with God to get the balloons is the important part.

In high school, I was able to visit an orphanage in Mexico for a few weeks. They built everything there by hand. It was a long process requiring many hands to build anything there. We spent several hours each morning digging trenches, mixing cement, transferring wheelbarrows, and laying bricks. There were many alternatives to make the process go much faster. But they decided the hard work builds character and allows for great conversation. It did, indeed! Those hours spent working were some of the richest.

I think I'm always trying to find the shortest route to do something, but forget the best things might happen in the process. I'm thankful for weaknesses that allow us to move slowly. Maybe we will see more opportunities that way.

Brought to you by Sarah Welles.

Sarah has randomly suggested the word "bottle" for today's post.

I have two things to say about this topic.

1) Question. How do they get those incredibly intricate and minuscule ship replicas inside of those bottles?

2) "Genie in a Bottle." Why did I ever like that song? Oh, young, impressionable minds...

That's all for today!

It's been a while.

We're trying things new 'round here at Emily Fenton's blog spot. She is trusting Steven's topic recommendations to inspire her blog writings. He says the word, and it's done.

Today's thoughtful topic tip: Cheesecake.

Unfortunately, Emily really doesn't have much to say about cheesecake.

Hopefully tomorrow's topic proves more stimulating.

Thanks for joining us!

Hi blog! How ya been? I can't chat now, but I promise to visit very soon.

Finals week. Good times. =)

Just one thing.

I am thinking much, learning much, feeling much, wishing to express much, but I know just one thing is truly crucial to say at this late hour as I head to sleep:

Christ will never disappoint us.

Evaluation.

I work as a Community Programmer in a housing complex at UCI. (greatest job ever...) I work closely with 11 other people who do my similar job. We recently filled out peer evaluations for each member of the team. Today I read those addressed to me.

There were many comments that left me thanking Christ for working in me. There were also comments that hurt. It hurt that I agreed with their criticisms. "A lot of times, I feel like Emily wants everything to be her way, even when it is not her program." "Emily, you do a great job in taking the lead, but sometimes I want to see other members shine." "I get the feeling that she likes to do things independently, which isn't necessarily a bad thing."

This is something I pray about a lot. "Lord, would I take a step back and involve others in the process. The outcome doens't matter as much as the relationships along the way. Humble me enough to see my way isn't the best way."

I thank God I can see this area improving so much. I really can. But I know how much further God can take me in it.

I left my supervisor's office with a head full of thoughts. I was thanking God for great things He has changed in me, praying he would never stop, praying my team would see Christ in me, that my faults wouldn't keep anyone from seeing Christ, praying that I would love my team so much, praying that I would take the criticism and use it as encouragement. There was another thought. It was so beautiful.

I left the room thinking "They might be falsely accusing me, or they might be right on the money. Either way, the shame I feel from these comments doesn't have to exist. They are not my judges... God, you are my judge!" And I felt all the comfort I needed.

And it hit me, as it has before, that is the most insane thing to find comfort in!

Why would I find comfort in a God who knows, not just this fault the team has found, but each and every little sin, huge sin, disgusting thought, or selfish motive!? How is it comforting that a God who has the power and right to punish me for all those thoughts is my judge? Shouldn't I be far more ashamed in front of him than any peer evaluation!?

Yes! I should! I should be frightened! Yet I find comfort that I will never be ashamed in front of Him!

Oh the cross of Christ is so beautiful when I realize what I deserve next to what I'm graciously getting.

Thank you Lord for this comfort in the very thing that should send me to my death.

Thank you that I will never be ashamed!

Answered.

I am working on my Japanese homework, the listening portion.

I must mark yes or no for each question. I listened to the last question three times but did not understand what it was saying. Oh, well, I thought. I simply marked the answer found in the answer packet and was going to move on.

...but what if I prayed about it? I could ask God to help in this seemingly insignificant homework problem. He doesn't have to, but God could certainly make me understand!

So I prayed. And God listened. And answered like he loves to do!
I listened to it one more time, and I knew what it said. Amazing. =)

Thank you, Lord, for showing me your care and your power in something so simple.

Back to school.

I am sitting here in between classes overlooking this beautiful park with its wild trees and clever shadows. Such a view makes me appreciate the joy Christ really wants for our lives. People are speeding past me in their fancy clothes, hopes of a degree; honestly anything that will appear to satisfy. As they do, I wonder, as I always do, what Christ meant when he said our "joy may be complete." I wonder if its not that we go looking for things to find joy in, but Christ makes us find joy in everything we come across. We can enjoy whatever comes our way, whether a beautiful tree, or pain and persecution, because we ultimately enjoy Him. And He will always be there.

Okay. Class time!